The long work week effect on family life - The time away from home

Nobody talks about this part. The long hours, the missed recitals, the stress you carry home without realizing it, the relationships that bend — and sometimes break — under the weight of a demanding career in rent-to-own. In this episode, Pete Shau and Danny get real and personal about what life in the RTO industry actually costs you outside of the store.

This topic was suggested by a listener — Rick McCaffrey, a local store manager — and it clearly hit a nerve. Between the two of them, Pete and Danny bring nearly 30 years of lived experience to a conversation that most people in the industry think about but rarely say out loud.

Pete opens up about missed milestones with his daughters, a marriage that didn't survive the demands of the business, and the hard-earned wisdom that balance isn't optional — it's survival. Danny reflects on 17 years with his wife Melissa, what it took to make it work, and the one agreement they made that changed everything about how he shows up at home.

Together they dig into the unique pressure points that RTO professionals face — the hours that bleed past store closing, the stress that follows you into dinner, the friendships forged in the trenches of this industry, and the community of customers who become a second family whether you planned for it or not. They also tackle the physical and mental toll that rarely gets discussed: what happens to you when the job demands everything you've got.

This isn't a doom-and-gloom episode. It's an honest, grounded conversation about how to protect what matters most while still giving everything to a career you love. If you've ever snapped at your kids on a bad sales day, missed a family event for a floor push, or found yourself mentally at the store while sitting at the dinner table — this one's for you.

Transcript

Danny Lastra 0:07

And welcome to the RTO show with Danny and Pete. I'm your host, Danny.

Pete Shau 0:11

And I'm your host, Pete. And today we are discussing the RTO family effect. And basically, guys, we know that all of you guys have stuff to talk about and things that you want to hear. Well, I think this is probably one of the best topics we've come across in a long time. And I really, really think this is something that people want to talk about. How does it affect your family?

Danny Lastra 0:30

Well, Pete, you've been in this longer than me. I've been doing this 11 years. You've been, what, 18 years? But 18 years in January. Congratulations. Yeah. And it definitely takes a toll on your personal life. I mean, the amount of hours we were. I was actually talking to my wife about this even earlier today, before we did this episode. I said, hey, babe, you know, from your perspective as my wife, how do you think this business has affected our relationship? And, you know, she's very supportive. She supports everything I do. But she said, you know, honestly, yeah, it's definitely put a strain on us because two main things. One is the amount of hours you have to put in. It's not a set schedule. Everybody that's in this business, no, it's not a set schedule. You think it's a set schedule, but it's a business demand schedule. I'm there when I have to be there. Sometimes I don't get days off. Sometimes I'm working six days a week because I have to be there.

Pete Shau 1:17

You know that. But then that's what happens when you're a responsible district manager. I mean, GMs go through it, a lot of assistant managers who are trying to move up. Talking about relationships and the people that you have relationships with. Right now, APRO is doing a fundraiser for hurricane relief, dealing with the Hurricane Ivan that just came through Florida and kind of made its way back up into the Carolinas. Listen, APRO does a lot of great things, and this is something that you can donate to. All the proceeds go directly to the families that have been affected and RTO that just need help from everything that's happened to loss of homes, loss of land, loss of valuables. There's some devastating situations that happen when hurricanes come through at a category four. And this is the best way that they know to give back is to donate what they get. So if you guys get a chance, one of the ways to do it is go to APRO, go to their website, click on their links. Uh you can go into Lincoln, they all have a LinkedIn uh site that you can also click on and you can donate there. They really appreciate it. You know, email them back and forth with Gentroke and part of APRO, and they're doing great things, and I really hope that you can do something for them. But talking about relationships, I mean, I started my first relationship, my first marriage in Rent to Own. And one of the things that I remember is that it was like an unsung thing. People can't, you know, you shouldn't have a relationship. And then you realize that you spend so much time with that person that you're in a relationship, and not necessarily always like, you know, one partner to another, but you know, you build this relationship with whomever, and it she was my assistant. And slowly but surely, I mean, after all the time that we spent together, it formed a relationship and and then a marriage. And then I think somewhere in there, rent to own probably broke that, and then we got a divorce. So around two.

Danny Lastra 2:54

So But you know, the the other funny thing about rent to own is friendships. So you tend to have a lot of friends in the industry, and you just can't escape it. Like, I know one of the biggest complaints the wives have whenever we all get together outside of work is that we're talking about work.

Pete Shau 3:14

Oh, you never get away from work. You're always talking about work. You're always talking about work.

Danny Lastra 3:16

So going back to what you said, like when you with your first wife, you know, it was it's almost natural because you're having someone you can relate to to talk about that understands the business and going through the ins and outs, and you guys can laugh, tell stories. Oh my god, Mr. Jones last week, yeah, that you know, that guy, whatever, whatever. So there's pros and cons for sure, but I do find it ironic and comical that we just can't get away from it no matter what, even on a day off, going to grab a beer at Top Golf, it's gonna get brought up. Somehow, someway it's getting brought up.

Pete Shau 3:48

If you guys have ever been out with your co-workers at any point in time from any point in the business, right? So you could be in the same store, separate stores, separate divisions, separate companies. Let me tell you, you know when you're in the business because that's what you talk about. That's what comes out. Hey, do you know about this? Did the the budget here and the new things that it came out, and I got to do this collections, and it's in your blood. When you do it for a long time, it's in your blood. But the relationships, they have their ups and downs because I've met some people in this business that I am friends with till today that I believe that our inner workings will go on for many years to come because we've shared this, and it's not the same as being a firefighter, it's not the same as being in the military, it's not the same as as being a first responder, and I'll give them all the respect in the world. But let me tell you, when you do battle the way we do battle on a day-to-day basis, you build relationships with the people that you work with. And man, sometimes those those transcend outward. So, yes, I went through a divorce. Yes, it was ugly. But I made some really good friends along the way. I learned to appreciate them for what they brought to the table. Because man, this is this is something difficult. I mean, how many people do you know now that are in the business from the business?

Danny Lastra 4:53

Yeah, a strong handful. I I have friends that I brought into the business, stuck with it for a year or two, didn't care for it, went back to what they did. But now, even better, our bond is probably even stronger because now they have a better understanding of what I go through on a day-to-day. So even though they're no longer in the business and they're doing their own thing, we can still talk about it because they understand, they can relate. You know, another another effect rent on has is as a parent, and that's probably the most difficult one, and probably the most, I don't want to say heartbreaking, but it is challenging to be a parent while you're in the rentone industry. And I think you know better than that, Pete, more than anybody.

Pete Shau 5:26

Well, I've missed enough recitals and enough award ceremonies to tell you that I'm always I've benefited and been blessed by the people or the partners that I've had in the time that I've had it because they've been able to go places and do things to see the children in a way that I wasn't because I was kind of pulling the hours and doing the things that we did. So I've missed out on a couple things for sure that the kids probably would have wanted me at that I I will never get back and I'll never say, oh my god, it's terrible and it's a terrible thing. It was a decision that I made. I wish I would have made something different now that I'm an older, you know, an older person. But when you talk about it, you know, rent home doesn't start at 7 o'clock in the morning. Now, your collections might start early at 8 o'clock in the morning depending on what state you're in, but your stores generally don't open. I mean, in most cases, from 9 to 10 o'clock in the morning, and they usually go from eight, uh 7 o'clock to 8 o'clock at night. Well, that's in the middle of your day. So it's really hard to do something early or do something late. It kind of takes up the majority of your day. Most rent-owns that I know of are still working on a 45-hour work week, if not more. You know, we've cut back to 40 hours, which I think is something beneficial for everybody, including the relationships that we've had, benefited totally from a 40-hour work week. But I know a lot of places still doing the OT. You know, they're still putting in the overtime. And if your guys are there 45 hours out, I'm gonna tell you right now, GMs are doing 55 at least. You know, and then what we do, it's all it's all off the it's all off the cuff, right? We're getting phone calls before, phone calls afterwards, or on the weekends. So it's like we might not physically be in the actual store, but working, oh, you're working. You know how that goes.

Danny Lastra 6:53

Right. And you know, you know, I'm gonna go ahead and touch on this subject too. I think there is a difference between salary employees and hourly employees, salary management, especially if you're producing the right results, you know, you probably get a little bit of leeway. So you could probably make up those times by, you know, if you want to go to that morning award ceremony and then come in on your day off to work half a day or whatever. Most upper management, as you and I, we will approve that. You know, we'll approve the the Saturday football game in the morning, just knowing, hey, you're gonna have to make that up next week, etc. etc. But I think it's more difficult for hourly employees because they rely on that hourly rate. You know, if they come in later, they're leaving early, they're gonna lose those hours. And I think that's where that hardship of the rent to own and family effect comes in.

Pete Shau 7:37

Well, part of it is a huge work balance, and I didn't realize that till a lot later and a lot more years that I had put in. There has to be a work balance between work and your family, and you have to make sure that it's 100% there because I lost a lot of years with my older daughter, and I I really wish that I could get those back. I can't. She has since worked in the industry. I wish I could say that she had she has worked and she realizes there's a lot to it, you know, from the sales aspect, from the collections aspect, from the marketing aspect. It's not just a one-trick pony. There's a lot to do. We provide a service to a lot of customers, and before you know it, the day gets away from you. You haven't made all the calls you should. You haven't probably said happy birthday to everybody the way you should, or you've kind of got away from it, you've got to make up for it when you come back. And uh thank God that she's older now, we've kind of been able to make make up lost time, but you can only make up so much lost time, you know. So you always have to remember that in the relationships that you have to make people just as important as we make rent to own, although rent to own is a beast and I love this business. I don't know how I've never been able to get away from it for any amount of time. I try, I come back, I try, I come back. It's what I do, and a lot of people to this day, uh the people that I've met, the rent owners, you're like, You're still doing this? Absolutely, you know. So when we're talking about the effect on family relationships, it's balance. You know, I miss I miss my daughter's recital sometimes. I miss those award ceremonies, but looking back, I've created some great relationships. So it's been a it's been a give or take, it's been a plus or minus.

Danny Lastra 9:02

Oh, absolutely. And speaking of balance, it's it's not just about physical time balance, it's also stress balance. You have to learn, and I'm speaking from experience, I'm sure you agree with this as well. And you know, in our younger days, we would bring work home. The stress of not hitting the goals or not hitting the standards, you know, it gets stressful, especially when you when you're an individual that wants to succeed, when you want to thrive, you do end up taking it home, and it affects the family, affects the wife, it affects the kids. They can feel it, they can tell you're stressed out, probably snapping a little bit more. I mean, I'm guilty of all this. I remember they would have family meetings with me and tell me, you know, you're always upset, you're angry, and it's it's summertime, of course I'm angry, you know? Because it's a summer I'm losing it's summertime. Listen, guys, in Florida, you lose your pants off in the summertime. You know, but I think that's where that balance comes in that you have to learn when you get home, you gotta be present. And I'm speaking more for myself, too. Like I'm I'm still learning, I'm still trying to do better at that. That when I'm home, I'm there, I'm present with my kids, I'm present with my wife. I'm trying not to talk about work so much. Of course, it's natural. You know, you come home, how was your day? How was your my day? Blah, blah, blah. But then, hey, let's talk about something else. What's going on with the kids, what's going on in their lives. It actually will help what I'm realizing is the more I'm getting involved with my kids and their activities, it does de stress me from my work. So I'm not just obsessing over it. It doesn't take away my passion whatsoever because every morning I'm waking up ready to kill it, you know. I think that's the important thing we probably could do is learn to balance that work and home atmosphere.

Pete Shau 10:30

Well, when you have people that you work with all the time, you know, sometimes there are things that come from outside situations, right? So you have Hurricane Ian that comes through, right, and it destroys things. And there's always a reason to be on the go and rent to own, and that kind of almost puts you on the front and center, right? So now we go from selling furniture and things that people want, all of a sudden this hurricane comes by. And now we're talking about essentially, you know, having essential products, maybe trying to take care of our customers and in a way that they wouldn't normally have to worry about, but we're here to serve the community, and that's what we do. And those relationships, those type of relationships that we have with the community that we have with our customers, those also play a role. You know, so when we're talking about the RTO family effect, it's a rent-to-owned family. We almost we see these people probably more often than we simply see some of our family members. You know, we see them every week, we talk to them every week or bi-weekly, we see them once a month. I'm gonna tell you guys the truth. I mean, even having friendships as an older in my later years, it's kind of hard to see that person all the time. This is somebody that we talk to all the time. We know about their children, we know about their life, we know about what they're going through. We're trying to help them through the expenses of what we have because now they might have an essential need going through a hurricane like this. And so, you know, when you come home, you can't burden everybody with those things. So one of the main things I can say is on top of balance, make sure that you have somebody to talk to, somebody to relate to as far as what's going on. And it's usually somebody in the industry, somebody that's in this in an equal position, but that's where you have the relationship bond as well. So, I mean, it affects your family, but it affects you in a lot of other ways as well.

Danny Lastra 12:00

Yeah, because one of the last points is you gotta take care of yourself. You know, we're talking about the relationship of family effect, you know, spouses and kids. But what about your inner relationship? What about your own mental health, your well-being, your physical well-being? It's gonna take some dedication and almost planning, but you have to make sure you get enough exercise that you eat right. I mean, you just said the hours are from like 10 to 7. So we all know statistically, if you're eating after seven o'clock, it's pretty unhealthy for you. The majority of us are eating dinner probably about 8, 8:30 every night. You know, well, if we're not exercising, you know, that's unhealthy for us. If we're not getting the proper mental health of, you know, de-stressing, that's gonna be a problem for you. So you have to learn, and that's part of that balance, it's not just how it affects your spouse, how it affects your kids, is how is it also gonna affect you? And you have to make sure you balance it. It's management all over again, just in a different category. You have to learn how to manage your well-being while being an RTO manager.

Pete Shau 12:54

Sometimes in relationships, also you have to find you have to find somebody who's as understanding to your situation as possible. If you're gonna be effective, you're always gonna have a partner, right? And that partner, whoever they are, you guys are going to go through life together. But there has to be an understanding when it comes to rent to own, and not that it's anything more special than anything else. It requires a lot of you. And I think part of where my first relationship came from was she understood why I was working the hours. She understood why sometimes it was a it was a stressful day. We didn't get as many deliveries out as we wanted, we didn't grow the way we wanted to, or we didn't collect the way we wanted to, or we did, and there was a reason for celebration because she understood what went into that, and then on the opposite side of that, once she left the business, it was like, Yes, I do understand it, but but you know, and it cre it created that dichotomy of I get what you're going through, but we have this family, right? And so my second daughter was actually born into a rent-owned family. I mean, that's just the way it is. Now, my first daughter is a little bit outside of that box. Uh, I did start after she was born, but my second daughter is definitely a rent-to-owned child. She's only known me to do this. This is what I've done since the beginning of her time frame. And uh, you know, I always think, can I get can I get my kids involved in this? And should I get my kids involved in this? But the relationships that you go through, you have to be mindful and having somebody who understands what you're going through and kind of understand what they're going through because you're the one that's not there, right? So it's easy to say things, but they're the ones missing you. They're the ones that want you to be a part of something that you can't make it, or sometimes can't make it. And it has to go both ways. You have to be understanding to it. Um, Rentone is very demanding, but we can't let it take us over. Like you said, the balance is important. Finding somebody that understands and be present and mindful when you are there. Don't be somewhere else because there's I know plenty of guys who are like, I'm here, but I'm really secretly thinking about the truck deliveries tomorrow and who do I have to service, and how many times how many, you know, did I get my inventories done? You gotta be present and mindful at where you're at at all times.

Danny Lastra 14:55

Absolutely. And uh, you know, that's one thing me, me and my wife, Melissa, we actually agreed on, and we've been together 17 years, married 16, so very understanding. She worked in this industry for a little bit, she left, she has her own career now, but she does understand. However, just like you said earlier, it there's always that but but I understand, but because we have a family. We've been getting better at our own relationship and communicating and understanding and supporting one another in our own career modes. And one thing we came across that's working for us is you know, she understands when I'm at work, I'm at work. You know, she tries not to bother me unless it's urgent or something, you know, may maybe a text. Can you pick up milk on the way home? She doesn't bother me anymore about what time I'm getting off work. She just allows me to work. When I get off, I get off because she understands. However, what she does ask of me though is when I'm home, like you just said, are you mentally here though? I don't want you mentally still there. Like, get it out of your system because I I need you here, the kids need you here, and that's where that balance is coming. That's what I'm working on. So when I do come home, I'm like, boom, okay, I'm in dad mode, I'm in husband mode. What do we need to do at the house? What do we need to do as a family? Because they're getting they're respecting my time at work, so I need to give them the same respect, and now it's family time.

Pete Shau 16:04

Well, one of the things about starting a family, when I when you talk about family time, when I first started with my first wife a long time ago, I had just moved, we had just got a place, we didn't really have much, and every time this has ever happened to me in my life, I've had a crazy life. Rent-to-own is always my house, always looked like a mini rent-to-own shopping area. Like you like you just walk in and oh, look, it's a little showroom. But it's part of that relationship problem that we had was you know, how are we gonna take care of this? How are we gonna furnish our home? It was always there. So like that understanding always meant, yes, we're gonna go through this, but then we had we can rely on rent to own for these things, just like you can kind of accept that I'll be late sometimes. But you know, it was always nice to have that, you know, that relationship, even with my DMs at the time or my regional, hey, you know, I just moved, do we have anything uh used or on sale or whatever? And it really helped out. You know, there was a lot of benefits to the rent-to-own situation, and then there's a lot of you know, there's a lot of sides that we need to pay attention to. But when I first got together with her, and it was it was it was again, it was we should have been together, right? At that point in time, Rack had a thing, Renna Center had a thing that we shouldn't be with employees. And I'm just putting it out there, I did. You can catch me 20 years later, but I did it. And so we were together for like uh a little while when it happened, and of course my daughter was born, and being in that position, being in rent home, it helped immensely with having a family and being and having access to pretty much all the things I needed at that point in time. And it really, I think because we have that service with so many people, I think that was sh that strengthened my relationship with the industry, with the business. Not only was I taking care of people, but it took care of me too. And so I think that's when I fell in love with the business. It was kind of like a love-hate relationship, but now that I look back on it, it was a choice, a career choice. It was a relationship between me and the people around me, the people that I surrounded myself, the employees, and uh it really it really came full circle. And you know, talking about reaching out to different people right now would be the best time to talk about the unlimited marketing solutions who's sponsoring this podcast.

Danny Lastra 18:14

Unlimited Marketing Solutions, they are a network that helps you small and medium-sized businesses network to increase their revenues and grow their customer base that is directed towards their customers. Unlimited Marketing Solutions is is on every social media platform Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, TikTok. I definitely would give them a shout if you're looking to promote your business, if you're trying to increase your clientele, if you're trying to increase your revenue or get your brand awareness, uh give them a shout out. I think we have their contact info.

Pete Shau 18:45

If you're looking to reach them by email, it's unlimited marketing solutions LLC at gmail.com. Or you can reach out to them at 352-553-3245. Again, that's 352-553-3245. They're social media marketing and outreach. Basically, grow your target customer audience base, whatever you're looking for, and you can reach them quick and easy. Target who you need to be seen, when you need to be seen, and quickly.

Danny Lastra 19:12

Absolutely. And uh lastly, this episode, this topic was brought to us by uh Rick McCaffrey, store manager at Ranking Brandon, Florida. Great topic, Rick. Thank you for emailing us and giving us a suggestion. It's very personal for me and Pete. I know it's very personal to a lot of you who are listening and probably have stories of your own that can understand and relate. I'd love to hear some stories from you guys. Tell us how the RTO has affected your family, positive, negatively. You know, we're all in this together, like Pete said. This is a rent-to-owned family, and we're in this together one way or another.

Pete Shau 19:41

If you want to reach out to us, now would be a great time to put in a shirt order that we're working on. Yeah. The RTO show is putting together. We have, we're actually wearing our newly designed shirts. Whoop, whoop, and uh hopefully they'll be ready for the market soon. But this topic here is something that it's very personal. On top of, you know, kind of having my first marriage and losing, losing that, and then my daughter actually being a part of Rent to Own and my other daughter really knowing what's going on rent to own. I have learned to balance it out with my current wife because if I don't, I'm gonna be in lots of trouble. But I think you've done it a lot better. Yeah, I mean, you've you've been with your wife for 16 years. I mean, that's that's a testament to the fact that if you've been doing this for 11 years, you've got something right. You know, everything is a work in progress, you know.

Danny Lastra 20:26

So, you know, but I love my wife, she's very supportive, always understanding, not saying it's perfect. Of course, we bump heads, and just like any marriage does, but at the end of the day, we have a good understanding and a strong foundation. That's how we're able to get through this together.

Pete Shau 20:38

If you have any questions about the relationships that you have, uh you want to talk about it or just comment on it, hit us up on our email. It's Pete at the RTO Showpodcast.com, or you can email Danny if you don't like my response. And you want to go to Danny, you can go to Danny at the rtoshow podcast.com and reach out to us and let us know what's going on. Go to the website, uh, it's the rtoshowpodcast.com. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, subscribe to our channel. We definitely want to hear from you guys. We want to be able to talk to you every single week about topics that you guys think are important. The relationship podcast and the RTO family effect is something that I think if you as long as you balance it out, you'll have the correct outcome. But going into it first, you've got to be careful, man. It's it's uh it can eat you up. Absolutely. Without further ado, this is the RTO show with Danny and Pete.